Slytherin's Disgust
by evil older sister
Summary: This is a partial parody where Harry brings back very familiar yet unknown people and Voldi gets the reprimand he'll never forget. Rating for some language


**Slytherin's Disgust **

Disclaimer: If I owned it would I be writing here

The battle had been going on for hours and the side of light did not appear to be winning. For the past month those on the side of the dark lord had been working from the inside of the school where they now fought to weaken it, seeding mistrust and quietly tearing down the ancient protections that surrounded Hogwarts for more than a century all leading up to tonight where Voldemort, or Moldi-Voldi as Harry had convinced the DA to call him attacked the school and now held the terrified students as captive audience, in what he thought to be his greatest moment of triumph. Had he possessed the Sight he would have probably just went back to bed that morning, for even dark lords need rest.

Harry Potter stood there trying to keep from panting, he was starting to run out of magic to throw at Voldemort, who was getting just as frustrated as he was judging by the kitchen sink that was being conjured and… oh shit, he hit the deck as the newly banished sink flew directly over his head and into the body of Death Eater Vincent Crabbe who had been trying to pummel a Surprisingly light sided Draco Malfoy. Harry looked back and winced even as he bit back a laugh, hopefully that will prevent the horribly inbred Crabbe line from reproducing. He then turned back to Voldemort and taunted, "I take it that is all you got". He stalled hoping that some idea, no matter how stupid, came to him. It could not be dumber then Voldi's plans right now, I mean come on he just dodged a kitchen sink.

"You don't honestly think you can beat me, Potter, with all my power and knowledge", ignoring the fact that he just ripped off one of the oldest cliché's out there, "Don't worry I'm in a good mood so it'll be painless, I'll even let you in on who the spy was", referring to the rumors that someone close to Harry was in fact an unmarked Death Eater, "Ginny, my dear would you come and receive your reward for serving me".

Ginny Weasley got gracefully up from where she had pretended to be unconscious, eager to please her lord, not even flinching as the mark was burned into her arm. "Didn't expect that did you, Potter?"

Harry Snorted and his two best friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley who were leaning against each other for support and wincing when they moved managed a weak chuckle "We've known Ginny was the spy since mid October, she should have been more careful in insinuating that her brother was the spy, since I trust Ron and 'Mione with my life", he was still stalling but there was a glimmer of an idea forming.

Voldemort expression turned from sneering triumph to burning anger as he spat "You'll be meeting your disgusting parents soon enough" and got ready to cast the spell that didn't work before, well no one ever said he had much common sense.

Meet, of course, meet, the idea fully took shape as he responded, "well, if I'm going to die anyway there are a couple of people who have been waiting to meet you", this was enough to grab the attention of a vein and psychotic guy like Tom Riddle, who paused for long enough for Harry to call out happily in a sing-song voice "Sal, Ric, Ro, Helga come out, come out, wherever you are", most of those who were still conscious decided that the Boy-Who-Lived had lost what was left of his mind, because everyone knew he already was insane. The notable exceptions were: the headmaster, who was insane himself, and so decided it was time for a lemon drop. Hermione and Ron trusted their friends' judgment it also helped that they knew who he was talking to even if they never met them. Finally there was a random boy in Hufflepuff who just didn't care anymore.

However everyone but Harry was astounded by a bright ball of light that dropped a well dressed aristocratic looking man with black hair that was, weirdly a dead ringer for Salazar Slytherin. Many were equally surprised the ball dropped three other people, two women one who looked remarkably like Molly Weasley and one who looked a bit like Minerva McGonagall and a man who quite frankly looked like a much younger and clean shaven Dumbledore, before disappearing. The second man had some how landed on his butt and the two women landed on top of him facing Voldemort. The first was the only one facing Harry and so was the first to notice him.

"Harry, it's great to see you", he then thumped Harry on the shoulder and began looking around eagerly, "Do we finally get to meet them, huh, huh?" This of course drew the attention of the others and as soon as she saw him one of the women, the one who bore a strong resemblance to Molly Weasley, squealed and launched herself at him from across the Great Hall smothering him in a hug then simultaneously reprimanding him for not getting in touch more often and firing questions about this 'them' they wanted to meet. The other two followed at a more sedate pace and added there own greetings. Finally after several more minuets of questions and smothering, Harry, having regained his dearly missed oxygen supply, managed to get a word in edge wise.

"Sal, Ric, Ro, Helga these are Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley my two best friends and soul mates" this announcement brought some stir, "'Mione, Ron these four are Salazar Slytherin, Godric Gryffindor, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Helga Hufflepuff they've been my companions since I was little." This Announcement was met with shouts and fainting. The Random Hufflepuff was so surprised that he began to care again.

The three so-called light founders were quick to shake their hands but Salazar hesitated then asked in a serious voice "Are they MudBloods?"

There were more shouts and several of the other Weasleys began turning their own special red, which faded in surprise when instead of getting angry Harry answered in a proud sort of voice, "Yes, they are." The surprise continued when instead of sneering Salazar gave a wide grin and rushed forward to shake both their hands excitedly, hurriedly explaining that he thought they were, because Harry had a good head on his shoulders, and he knew that but he had to check.

"He acts as if that is a good thing" the sneering voice of Theodore Nott cut through the introductions and in a voice that could have given Severus Snape's coldest frostbite he identified the person by the word pureblood. "I am an eleventh generation Pureblood and proud of it!" Nott returned without a seconds delay.

Now it was time for Salazar to be confused so he asked the only person he knew well here, Harry, "What in the world does his lineage have to do with being a pureblood?"

This question earned him many strange looks as Nott answered haughtily "Lineage has everything to do with pureblood you nincompoop", clearly Nott is not a smart person "The very tem means blood that is free of muggle filth while mudblood is the term for someone whose blood is filled with the filth of muggle's, everyone knows this." This was said with the air of a teacher chiding a first year.

"No it isn't" Salazar was clearly feeling offended with the explanation, "and I should know after all I coined the terms. Mudblood means someone who is willing to get Muddy or Bloody to complete there work, in other words a hard worker and, might I add my favorite type of student" here there were several more people fainting, a couple of disgusted Death Eaters who realized that they had been complimenting people who they had been trying to insult, not that they were very good at it mind you and the Random Hufflepuff decided that he needed to get called a mudblood sometime soon if only to keep caring. "Purebloods" this was said with a sneer and the frostbite voice as I will now dub it, it also got everyone's attention back on the present, "are my name for people who believe that they are too 'important' for actual work, in other words they are spoiled, in bred brats. Most mudbloods may have been muggle born but I don't know how they got that screwed up"

"Um, Mr. Slytherin, I have an idea" they turned to Hermione and after stopping to tell her to call him Salazar he gestured for her too continue, "well if most 'purebloods' were pure blooded then it's probably safe to assume that sometime after you died changed because they were jealous" Salazar considered this then nodded, that was probably the case, he then noticed that she was favoring her ribs and Harry looked exhausted.

"What was going on before we got here" this caused the other three to look around, while the rest, who had actually forgotten that they were in battle to collectively wince as their various injuries caught up with them, "Well this won't do how are we supposed to get introduction, not to mention interrogations of intent done if you all pass out" the famous four all waved their hands at once and another light this time deep blue pulsed out from them and healed everyone. "Well that's better"

Well that's it for chapter one, I originally wanted this to be a one shot but , I'm kinda running outta ideas so I figured I would get this much up and figure the rest out later if any one thinks of something feel free to review me with it or email me even, I'll try to work it in- Cya Evil Older Sister


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